HEAL THE INNER CHILD

Jordana Atim
3 min readOct 28, 2020

As humans, we all struggle with separating the ego from our authentic self. That is why it is important to discover yourself, educate yourself, and unlearn habits that can help you improve as a human being. The ego is a part of self-identity that has been internalized based on past lived experiences. The ego is designed to protect us, we stick with what is familiar in our minds and close ourselves off to what seems new or inexperienced. So we notice it’s hard to teach someone something new because, in their minds, they have not completely let go of the old. For example, several people spell and pronounce my name as Jordan or Joldana, and find it hard to simply spell or pronounce it as “Jordana”.

The trick to learning something is wiping your mind blank and fully accepting what you are being told without the interference of what you already know or assume to know. Let go of the negative self-talk. Stop making statements such as, “I cannot do that, it is too hard for me”, “I am hard to love”, “Wealth is only for a chosen few”, …… and whatever negative thing you constantly tell yourself or say out loud to others. All you are doing is re-affirming all those negative statements. What you tell your mind, it will believe and respond accordingly.

Each of us has an inner child within us and the ego protects that inner child. The inner child is the house where all our past experiences, our unmet needs, and all our suppressed emotions live. It is the lens through which we experience our current reality. All the negative aspects of your life, …only you have the power to change into positive. The ego is often negative and we have to do the work to practice separating the ego from our authentic self.

The amount of youth in this generation that live in fear of commitment is high because of past experiences. Most of us have been brought up by single parents, step-parents, or dysfunctional homes. When we look around we see nothing that inspires us to marry. And even when we look back on our past relationships, there is so much pain that we hold on to and carry into our adult lives. But what we don’t acknowledge is that most of us were young at that time, we made mistakes and probably did not know what we were doing.

Normalize accepting when you are wrong, normalize apologizing, normalize letting go, normalize learning new changes, and trying the unfamiliar. You are not going to fully evolve as a human being living in rigidity and doing what only feels safe. Let go of the assumptions and see people for what they truly are, people change and some sadly do not. If you so desire to get all the things that you feel unworthy of, you have to change your mindset first. Change your mindset towards relationships, people, wealth, and happiness. It all begins with you.

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Jordana Atim

Data Manager, Business women, Blogger, health and lifestyle consultant. Currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Refugee and Migration at UMU.